The Absolute Truths

There are no eternal facts, as there are no absolute truths.
- Friedrich Nietzsche: Human, All-too-Human

Though not eternal, we hold these truths to be self-evident:

  1. Ellen knows everything.
  2. Larry is always right.
  3. Cheryl makes the rules.
  4. It's Jon's fault.
  5. Danny knows all about that stuff (he used to be a professional waiter)
  6. You can't tell my father anything.
  7. Rachael has never done anything wrong in her life.
  8. Ellen can do whatever she likes.

If in logical peril, invocation of any of these Absolute Truths™ will trump your opponent's flimsy logic and allow you to win the day.